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06 April 2012 @ 08:40 am
Ficlet: Leaving (Firefly)  
Title: Leaving
Word Count: 257
Rating: G
Original/Fandom: Firefly
Characters/Pairings: Inara(/Mal)
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/RPF etc): none
Summary: Inara is leaving Serenity
Notes: Written for a challenge at writerverse. Prompt is 'moving day.'



Leaving


The last of Inara’s trunks had been loaded onto the mule and she could see Wash fidgeting impatiently. This planet was a little closer to Alliance territory than any of the crew was comfortable with, and Wash was as anxious as any of them to get back into the sky. And yet she lingered, taking her time as she descended the stairs to the cargo bay for the last time. She felt every seam in the metal railing, every imperfection echoing through the pads of her fingers as she trailed them along the support.

She reached the lower level and stopped to accept yet another hug from a tearful Kaylee. Goodbyes had been said earlier and most of the crew had gone back about their tasks already. Giving Kaylee a firm squeeze and a warm smile, she disengaged and took her seat next to Wash. She felt the vibrations through the seat as Wash started the mule and they pulled away from Serenity. Hands folded tightly in her lap, she refused to turn and look for him.

They had barely spoken since she had told him of her finalized plans to leave Serenity and to take a position at the Training House. He hadn’t even attended her farewell party, begging off with such a manufactured excuse that it had embarrassed Zoe even to repeat it. If that was the way he wanted it, she had no cause to argue. She kept her eyes trained forward, sure that the sense of being watched was simply her traitorous imagination.




 
 
 
dreximgirl: Nemo speak whaledreximgirl on April 6th, 2012 03:38 pm (UTC)
This was really good; I think you really captured Inara well. It was also very like Mal to think of some lame excuse not to attend her farewell party, poor boy just cannot admit his feelings. I love how you have kept her strength by her refusing to turn around, at the end of the day they are both as stubborn as each other.

Photobucket
magickmoons: shinymagickmoons on April 6th, 2012 08:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) I'm glad the stubbornness from both sides came through in this one - the two of them are quite a pair!
Lisa: castle: shinymeridian_rose on April 6th, 2012 05:39 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful and everyone mentioned is in character. I like the interpretation of the prompt. I'm also impressed that Mal is never mentioned by name, just as him , and how he is conspicuous by his absence. He probably is watching, of course, but that's just Mal/Inara all over.
magickmoons: fireflymagickmoons on April 6th, 2012 08:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) It seemed right that, at this point, she wouldn't use his name, even in her own mind. And yes, I think he's watching too!
nymaerianymaeria on April 7th, 2012 02:02 am (UTC)
aww... poor inara. but she's so tough, she'll never let it show...
magickmoons: butterflymagickmoons on April 7th, 2012 02:21 am (UTC)
Yeah, and would it kill one of them to actually admit to their feelings?! Laf.
riverotter1951: Butterflyriverotter1951 on April 7th, 2012 11:49 pm (UTC)
This is so poignant as Inara prepares to leave Serenity. She knows that her decision has caused a rift between Mal and her. Two proud stubborn people with neither one willing to take the first step toward a relationship or risk heartbreak instead of being honest.

Will they ever meet again? Will Inara keep in touch with someone on Serenity?
magickmoons: fireflymagickmoons on April 8th, 2012 12:47 pm (UTC)
The two of them are a pair, aren't they?

Thanks for the feedback :)
turnerwolfturnerwolf on April 8th, 2012 12:52 am (UTC)
Inara's character is spot on and so is Mal's. I could see him avoiding the party and not offering a goodbye. I can see Inara trying to convince herself that the sensation of Mal watching her as she left was not real and picturing Mal situated somewhere and staring at her as she left. So them... Wonderfully written, thanks for sharing :)
magickmoons: shinymagickmoons on April 8th, 2012 12:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Lyear_anda_day on April 8th, 2012 02:18 am (UTC)
Woot another fandom I sort of know- I've seen Firefly and Serenity (the movie was so sad).

This captures Inara and her sort-of-relationship with Mal well.

I like the image of Inara feeling the seams and the railings of a ship that's been her home.

One small critique -

Giving Kaylee a firm squeeze and a warm smile, she disengaged and took her seat next to Wash.

You need a bit of a time spacer because she can't be squeezing Kaylee, letting go, and taking her seat all at the same time. Something like --

She gave Kaylee a firm squeeze and a warm smile before disengaging to take her seat next to Wash.

Overall good fic!
magickmoons: butterflymagickmoons on April 8th, 2012 12:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Good catch on the timing issue. I'll definitely look at that. Thanks :)
Ami Ven: Team Proseami_ven on April 9th, 2012 03:53 am (UTC)
Very nice! You captured every one of the characters perfectly.
magickmoons: fireflymagickmoons on April 9th, 2012 03:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you!