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12 September 2012 @ 06:28 pm
Double Drabble: Enough  
Title: Enough
Word Count: 200
Rating: Teen and Up
Original/Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Characters/Pairings: Reader's Choice
Warnings:
Summary: The universe is often strangely indifferent to your desires.
Notes: Written for a writerverse challenge where the last line must be: In that moment, it's enough.

Enough

When you go offworld, you want everyone to come back whole and healthy. You want to report a successful mission, good intelligence, and dead bad guys. Then you can kick back, have a beer, maybe some laughs, and know that you did your job today. These moments are what make the risk worth it.

But the universe is often strangely indifferent to your desires.

And when everything goes to hell and you come back through the gate dragging one teammate, the others stumbling behind, ears ringing from weapons fire, the stench of ozone and burned flesh following you through the halls to the infirmary, you set all those desires aside. You stand at the end of a gurney, waving off nurses trying to examine you, make sure your wounds aren’t serious. You know what’s serious; serious is lying on that damn bed, pale and bloody and struggling to breathe.

So you start revising your expectations. Instead of a couch, there’s a hard, plastic chair. Instead of a cold beer, a plastic cup with warm water. Instead of laughter, there’s a quiet voice waking you from a doze you never meant to fall into.

“What happened?”

In that moment, it's enough.

~fin~

This entry was originally posted at http://magickmoons.dreamwidth.org/2218.html.
 
 
 
Mimi The Musemimithemuse on September 14th, 2012 12:29 am (UTC)
I think the ending might make a tiny bit more sense if the condition of the narrator's fallen comrade is revealed. Otherwise, I think it's a very well written piece that appealls to people outside of the fandom as well as fans. Good job!
magickmoons: beachmagickmoons on September 18th, 2012 04:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the feedback. I'll keep that in mind.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Ami Ven: Team Proseami_ven on September 14th, 2012 06:42 am (UTC)
Very nice! And I kind of like that there's no names, so we don't really know who's narrating and who's injured...
magickmoons: classic team collagemagickmoons on September 18th, 2012 04:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I didn't originally intend for this to be reader's choice, or even 2nd person. It just kind of wrote itself that way...
unwritten_museunwritten_muse on October 3rd, 2012 07:27 pm (UTC)
I really like how the tension builds in this. You get a clear sense of the jeopardy here, of not only the injury to one of the team members but the distress from the others. You show a very poignant comparison between what they normally enjoy after a good mission and the cold and painful reality they're forced to deal with right now. It's stark and very effective.
magickmoons: kawooshmagickmoons on October 5th, 2012 03:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you!