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27 April 2012 @ 09:54 pm
Ficlet: Best Laid Plans [SG-1]  
Title: Best Laid Plans
Word Count: 703
Rating: Teen and Up
Original/Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Characters/Pairings: Sam/Jack-ish, Vala
Warnings: none
Summary: hungover Sam accidentally texts Jack
Notes: written for a writerverse challenge using Texts From Last Night. Text used is in bold. Texts are in italics.
Part of the Always series.

Everyone yelled happily. Jack made some approving noises, taking a swig of his beer to mask the fact that he had no idea what they were all cheering at. He was lucky he knew what teams were playing. He had been looking forward to his first Saturday off after a very difficult couple of months. However, he had somehow ended up crammed into George Hammond’s living room with a substantial number of Pentagon Brass watching college ball instead searching out some of the great hidden fishing holes he had heard about in the area, as he had planned.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he dug it out. His face blanched as he read the display, then quickly repocketed the phone.

Hammond noticed and leaned over to ask, “Everything okay, Jack?”

Jack looked up at his former CO, only partially registering the worry and concern in the older man’s expression. “Yeah, it’s okay,” he said. He gestured vaguely toward the back door. “I just need to...” Jack stood and headed out to the deck, grabbing a fresh beer as he passed through the kitchen.

Once on the deck, he risked looking at the phone again, hoping he had misread the message. Nope, it was still there...

and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.

Jack took a deep breath and typed a response.

You want to explain that?

He paced up and down the deck waiting for a response. He leaned against the railing. His phone buzzed again.


Yes. Why am I reading about your boobs while watching football with a roomful of brass?
And why are they blue?

I didn’t mean to text you

Just who were you texting?

There was a party last night.
A bachelorette party for Lt. Michaels.

Okay... still waiting for the blue part

Vala went out with us. Things might have gotten a bit out of hand.

And waiting...


No, it’s still Jack

Ha ha. I’m saying the answer to whatever you ask about last night is: Vala
And that’s all I’m saying.

Oh god, I’m going back to bed.
Never speak of this again.

Are you kidding?! I’m forwarding this whole thing to Daniel.
Just as soon as I figure out how...

Get some rest, Sam

He continued leaning against the railing as he drained the rest of his beer. The late afternoon sky showed the first tinges of sunset. He thoughtfully tapped his phone against the railing before typing again.

Vala, what the hell did you do last night?

Another long pause followed before he finally got a response.

Vala is dead right now. Try back later! I might care then.

I can actually feel you frowning all the way from DC
I took her out for a good time
Like You Asked Me To

I asked you to make sure she relaxed

Oh she definitely relaxed :D

I did not mean Jello Shots!

(Vala )
It’s not my fault you weren’t specific in your request.
how did you ever get to be general if that’s the way you give orders?

Jack rolled his eyes. He was just asking for trouble, but with Daniel and Teal’c both ‘out of town’ for a few days, it was either Cam or Vala, and he didn’t want to expose Sam’s condition to someone who was, at least nominally, her CO.

Vala, could you please go check on Sam?
She sounds kind of rough today.

Certainly, General Jack!
I’ve prepared supplies. I want to try out this hair of the dog thing I’ve heard about.

Not what I meant, and you know it

Vala is dead right now. Try back later! I might care then.

Jack closed his phone with a sigh. No wonder Daniel always sounded on edge. That woman was a menace. At least Sam had one more day to recover before she was due back at the mountain. Another roar came from inside the house and Jack schooled his features to back excited interest and he forged back in.

Jen: sg1: jack/sam_happilyjennickels on April 28th, 2012 02:06 am (UTC)
OMG, too funny. The whole text exchange was great.

No wonder Daniel always sounded on edge. That woman was a menace.
This, though, had me in stitches. Totally sums up Vala.
magickmoons: teal'c valamagickmoons on April 28th, 2012 11:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks! This was my first inclusion of Vala - glad to know I hit the right notes :)
nymaerianymaeria on April 28th, 2012 02:39 am (UTC)
Oh god, I’m going back to bed.
Never speak of this again.

*dies laughing*!
magickmoons: sammagickmoons on April 28th, 2012 11:45 pm (UTC)
Glad I got a laugh! Thanks.
Jen: sg1: jack_excellentjennickels on April 28th, 2012 11:58 pm (UTC)
I loved that line, too. Like Jack could ever let it go or forget, lol.
magickmoons: daniel sloooowlymagickmoons on April 29th, 2012 02:37 pm (UTC)
Just goes to show exactly how out of it Sam really was!
turnerwolfturnerwolf on April 28th, 2012 09:48 pm (UTC)
This was awesome! I enjoyed that you kept a majority of the piece in text format- you should get extra bonus points for that for the challenge!

Characterization is spot on, I could see Jack trapped watching the college ball game and then him threatening Sam to send the texts to Daniel as soon as he figured out how to do it.

Jack is going to have so much fun with the text once he and Sam are back at the Mountain!
magickmoons: sarcastic jackmagickmoons on April 28th, 2012 11:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much. I'm glad the text format worked - it just felt right for this piece.
Jenjennickels on April 28th, 2012 11:59 pm (UTC)
The image of Jack texting someone just cracks me up anyway.
Ami Ven: Team Proseami_ven on April 30th, 2012 03:19 am (UTC)
Very nice! Really, the whole thing- Jack not knowing how to use his phone, 'Vala' as an answer to why Sam's hungover, Jack and Vala snarking by text. Great!
magickmoons: sam jack just usmagickmoons on April 30th, 2012 08:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks! The whole Jack/Vala bit was pretty much an afterthought, but I think it's my favorite bit.
Vash: Teslen 2vash26 on May 4th, 2012 11:12 am (UTC)
I loved it, I can just see Jacks reaction sitting in that room with all that brass and excusing himself.
magickmoons: classic teammagickmoons on May 4th, 2012 02:13 pm (UTC)
Yeah, gotta keep him on his toes! Thanks :)